About Mike, the owner of this site
Hello, my name is Mike. I decided to put up this site because I want to help do something about abuse, by helping victims, abusers, and others who want to help. I have a lot of ideas of things to do to help others, but pretty much all of them require money, which I don't have much of. A website is one of the few things I can afford to do. I just need to find time to do it. ;-)
I hope this site helps a few people. Original plans were to be about child sexual abuse, but I decided to make it be of more general use. Why child sexual abuse? Could be because I was sexually abused as a child, but I wasn't. Could be just because I want to help protect children from sexual abuse, which I definitely do, but that's not the main reason. The main reason is because I know a lot about child sexual abuse. I can't go into detail due to privacy issues, but I got to know a little about a few child sexual abusers. They had different reasons for molesting children, different "interests", and were at different levels in what they did, or almost did. After learning some things about them directly, I did some research to study more on this subject. A few years ago I heard about a book written by someone who was molested as a child. I bought the book and read it in about 3 days with tears a few times, then I decided to look for more autobiographies and read many more true stories. Some of them were about things being done that were so far out of this world that most people probably couldn't even imagine it. After doing a lot of research, and reading many stories, I decided I had to help do something about this huge, but usually hidden, problem. My business is website hosting and design, so I decided to do a website to help abuse victims, directly and indirectly. A little later, I decided to do another website, protectingthechildren.org, with plans to start an organization some day to make a real difference.
From reading, studying, and abusers themselves, I learned quite a bit about this topic. Here is a little of what I know.
Most child sexual abusers don't just wake up one morning and decide to be an abuser. They don't just suddenly get this abnormal urge or desire and go through with it. Many say it starts with this thought or interest that's not normal, and they even know it's wrong and wonder how it even got there in the first place. Maybe it's a temptation they are tested with. At first, it's easy to just push it aside because they know it's wrong and don't want to think it, but for some reason, it comes back. They push it aside again and it just keeps returning. Eventually those thoughts or ideas reach the point where they realise they can't stop them and they need professional help. Here's what I believe is one of the main reasons child sexual abusers even exist. By the time they know they need help, their thoughts or ideas have gone to the point where they can't tell anyone, not even a psychiatrist. Think about it. Most people don't think child abusers need help, they need to be killed or locked up for life. That means if the person getting the unusual desires tells someone, they may be putting their life in danger, so they can't tell anyone, not even a professional. Another problem is, most of those people know their desires are wrong but don't know that there is help for them, so they just fight their desires on their own until eventually they lose the battle. If you are someone who is having bad thoughts, or even someone who has already gone to the next step PLEASE read this page.
Some child molestors do what they do because of wrong desires, some just because children are easier to control, and some because they actually believe they have the right. In some cultures, the wife and children are the man's "property" to do with as he pleases. Most of the ones who had an attraction to children knew that was wrong, but because of the lack of information and help on the topic, they had no control over who they eventually became. The deeper in a child molestor goes, the harder it will be to help him (or her). Many actually feel guilty at the beginning, even apologize, and don't understand why they have that desire, but over time it becomes more and more "normal" to them, until eventually they can't be helped. I've heard stories from a few child abusers who were caught and being treated. Some were in the early stages and were glad they were getting help, but others were obviously beyond help. To make a real difference, we need to help victims and abusers.
So, now you know a little about me, have an idea of what I know, and know why I'm doing this site. I hope this site is of use to you. If you know anyone who may be looking for more information on abuse, whether it's a victim, an abuser, or someone who wants to help, tell them about this site and my other one. The 2 main things I hope this site can do is help victims get the courage, nerve, or whatever they need, to tell and have it stopped, and help others get the help they need before it's too late.
It's estimated that about 1 in every 4 girls and 1 in every 6 boys have been, or will be, sexually abused. It's also estimated that 1 in every 5 men at least have sexual thoughts towards children, and 1 in every 25 men have done something with or to a child at least once.
Those figures are estimates, and considering that most victims never report and most abusers are never caught, the actual percentages are probably higher. Considering history, beliefs, and cultures, I personally think it's likely closer to 1 in 15 men that have done something. In some countries, children have no legal protection, and it is estimated 1 in 6 men sexually abuse children.
There are 3 ways to stop child sexual abuse. The first, and most effective, would be a nuclear war. End all life on earth and there will be no more abuse, or any kind of crime for that matter. The second and third are more appropriate ways. The second way is to teach children that they are not guilty of anything, are not responsible for what happens to them, and DO NOT have to let it continue. The third way is to help potential abusers get help so we don't end up with more victims that need help.
I've read many articles about helping abused children and helping try to keep them from being abused, but there's not much about helping potential abusers not become abusers. For every child helped, one child is helped, but for every abuser helped, there could be hundreds of children protected. I want the victims to be helped. That was the main purpose of this site, but we also need to learn how to stop the potential abusers before they are no longer "potential" abusers. If you want to know how to recognize people who need help, check the "For those who care" page.
To help me make a difference in the world, go to my newest site at:
Protecting The Children .org